Dating Tips For The Shy (by Wendi)

When feeling a bit shy about dating, think about going out in a group. If you are interested in someone or panicking when asked out – say for example, “a bunch of us are going to the Greek Festival on Saturday. The food is fabulous and the music lively.  It will be a fun.  Want to join us?”  Or “Yes, I’d love to see that film.  Some friends and I are going Friday night, how about going with us?” 

You laugh and have fun without the pressure of carrying on a conversation by yourself.  You can add amusing or pertinent bits to what others are saying.   Even extroverts can get tongue-tied when talking to their crush. There is less of a feeling of being judged when in a group setting than being alone on a date.  This is a good way to get back in the dating game after a break up or divorce, when feeling a little unsure of yourself.  It is like the training wheels when learning how to ride a bike. 

Another way, is to go where there is community table.  There is a particular coffee shop I frequent after work, late at night. There is a community table, led lighting which changes color and DJ s playing edgy music. I meet people and have stimulating conversations. This can lead to dates or be just great way to make connections. 

Spend time with outgoing friends.  These extroverts draw people into their sphere, so take advantage of this situation. You start talking to individuals your friends are meeting, which breaks the ice.  You might click with an interesting person which can lead to a date. 

If avoiding dating because of being shy, explore options that include being with other people besides your date. 

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